HEY!
Are you looking for a game with EXTREME visceral combat, AND
you’re a freaking CYBORG NINJA!?
Well look no further, ‘cause
Metal GEAR RISING: REVENGEANCE
is the game for you!
A spin-off of the classic series Metal Gear, Revengeance takes a new route in the
franchise. Yes sir, this is a full-on, no-holds-barred action game with plenty
of twists and turns to keep you simultaneously engrossed yet befuddled by the
profound interactions and events the explosions happening around you.
Wait, did I mention EXTREME VISCERAL COMBAT!?
Well in case you think your eyes are deceiving you, yes, I DID.
See that guy over there? Yeah, him. Guess what? He’s not
that swell of a guy. He did some things with child brains or…something. Who cares?
Freakin’ SLICE HIM UP, DUDE! Yeah, just like that. Guess what else? You
can slice him up ANY WAY YOU WANT! Just
hold left trigger and GO BANANAS.
AMAZING!
Oh? You thought this would be a CAKEWALK!? Pft hah, dream on sucker. You can only hold
left trigger for so long before you run out of juice. Oh, and it’s called Blade
Mode. Hmmm? You wanna slice n’ dice your enemies into cubed meat ALL the
time? Well, okay, but I have to make it interesting.
To REGAIN YOUR JUICE, all you gotta do
is CUT
OUT THEIR SPINAL CORDS, BRO! They’re filled with delicious and
nutritious fluids, not quite sure why though. Honestly I only found out because
of my cannibalistic tendencies.
wait what
…oh
ANYWAYS, pretty sweet, right? Alllriiight. But I can’t forget to mention this oooonnneee teeny tiny thing that you may have an issue with.
You uh…sorta kinda can’t block, I guess? But you can do this
SUPER
COOL parry thing that works roughly 70% of the time. It’s no biggie, I swear. Just wait until you
get surrounded, it works perfectly
bro, I’m telling you.
But yeah, that’s pretty much the run-down dude. Get out
there and buy yourself a copy, you won’t regret it.
And in case you’ve
forgotten;
AMAZING!
VISCERAL!
BANANAS!
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